Fears over Cameron's mental health after he plans radical Lord of the Rings style 'army of the dead'

Political allies are said to be worried about the state of David Cameron's mental health after it emerged that he intends to deploy numerous "ghost armies" after watching the third installment of the Peter Jackson fantasy trilogy The Lord of the Rings.

Nutter?

Despite his attempts to annihilate Britain's armed forces during the strategic defence review, the Prime Minister has apparently convinced himself that the effectiveness of our armed forces has actually been strengthened by bringing back historic regiments to cover the shortfall. The so called 'Return of the King' policy, which follows the same rules as the plot to bring the army of the dead to the battle of Pelanor fields in the third lord of the rings film has shocked many who fear than the coalition is not only inept, shoddy and useless but also dangerously insane. 

Recently deployed by Cameron were the entire British Expeditionary Force of 1914 to Afghanistan and the Napoleonic Scots Grey's cavalry regiment to Libya. He further plans to send HMS Dreadnought and the Mary Rose to the Falkland islands to ward of any potential Argentinian aggression while deploying Boudicca's   200,000 Iceni tribesmen to Cyprus as peace keepers.  

One cabinet colleague who wished to remain anonymous told our political editor "He's an absolute fuck nugget! We were called into a meeting last week to discuss plans for the Libyan no-fly zone and he did his entire presentation naked and covered in his own feces. The mans a maniac. When we pointed out to him that we don't actually have an Air Force of note left after the scrapping of the harrier he went on a 10 minute rant about how the hundreds of spitfires and hurricanes at our disposal would crush Gadaffi before crawling around on the floor on all fours supposedly looking for his pen. The only person who seemed to like the speech was Nick Clegg who for some reason kept taking pictures."