British farmers under fire from EU after radical "Croc Rotation" policy causes outrage

The EU has tonight reacted angrily to reports that British farmers are using radical new methods to increase their crop harvest in the run up the the British farmers busiest time of the year. The controversial 'croc rotation' technique involves having roaming bands of saltwater crocodiles placed strategically in wheat fields and orchards to deter apple thieves and the like.

Farmers argue the tactic is working

"The number of apples stolen from my farm alone has dropped by 84%" Said Eric Johnson from Lincolnshire. "What right does the EU have to tell us proud British farmers whether or not we can place incredibly dangerous carnivores on our own land. Its political correctness gone mad! Running a farm is hard enough and the crocs are really good value for money. I've not had to feed them once yet as they mainly stuff themselves on foxes, badgers and the slowest kids out of any groups of little shits who come onto my land and try and steal my apples."

Furious French farmers went on strike last night supported by thousands of students who stormed Paris and destroyed much of Notre Dam in a random event of violence reminiscent of the French reaction to any problem that has ever occurred ever.

Head of the British Union of Farmers John Bushface responded angrily by saying "Fuck the French! Everyone knows their all a bunch of pussies and dick grabbers anyway"